Sunday, September 30


layout be the reluctant blogger
{fonts:  pacifico | eraser  background: misstiina}

there's no excuse.

how many times have i given up.

how many times have you?

we can't have everything, that's true.

but we can't leave everything to fate either.

Thursday, August 23

being patient

layout by the reluctant blogger
{fonts: miniver, miserably lose, mr. b, mtf skinny jeans, my own topher, not his angel, orator}

How does one teach patience to a child?

Last night as I was lying in bed watching The Newsroom, my 8 year old came into the bedroom and told me she isn't tired yet and that she is not ready to go to bed.  I told her quickly that she should be in bed as it is a school night.  She persisted, saying the same thing, "i am not tired and i am not ready to sleep yet".  Knowing that music can lull her to sleep, I offered her to listen to some music.  She did.  But after 5 minutes, she again declared that she still isn't sleepy.  Without any suggestion in mind, I threw her the question, "what is it that you want to do?" she said "I don't know".  This time she said that with a whining tone.  And instantly I have recognized a start of a crying fit.  In my mind, panic sets.  Oh dear... not now.  Not when it's 9pm...not when her Dad isn't home yet. I planned to stay calm.  I kept looking at the TV and at the same time tuning my mind out of the program I was watching.  I was busy thinking of a way to distract her.  But knowing my daughter's temperament, I knew that there is no way I could console her.  And that was exactly what happened.

And the worst part of it was that, instead of sharing her my calmer energy,  I took in hers.

Care to guess what happened next?  No one got hurt.  But both our feelings were.

In a nutshell, I wasn't patient last night just like my daughter. I am not proud of how I handled the situation.  And in the aftermath, as I lay on my bed, I have realized that the best way to teach your child to be patient is to practice it yourself.

Wednesday, July 11

we need laughter

by the reluctant blogger [bebas, larger mime, oksana]

what happens when laughter happens no more?

while most would recall their own childhood laughter from playtime with their friends, i have sourced mine from watching the screen tube just before my mandatory afternoon naps.  back then, comedy was different.  there was no need for harsh language and gruff personality attacks to elicit laughter.  it was mostly about portraying preserved human characters.  as boring as it might sound, real comedic skills lies on perfect timing, wit partnered with acting skills. 

it has been a while since somebody on TV made me laugh that way.  
godspeed mang dolphy.  heaven awaits laughter coming their way.

Tuesday, July 3

i love

by the reluctant blogger

me:  i'm having a headache
my husband:  take meds
[you see, he's quite logical - all the time]

me:  i mean, i'm having a headache, please give me a massage
my husband:  o, i see, come here then...
[then, he turns it all around by being the sweetest person in the world]

a few days ago, he turned 40.  

for 17 summers now, he has been my sunshine, my torch.  
we've had trembling days but his strength of character kept us unshaken.  

i love, my love.