we need laughter

by the reluctant blogger [bebas, larger mime, oksana]

what happens when laughter happens no more?

while most would recall their own childhood laughter from playtime with their friends, i have sourced mine from watching the screen tube just before my mandatory afternoon naps.  back then, comedy was different.  there was no need for harsh language and gruff personality attacks to elicit laughter.  it was mostly about portraying preserved human characters.  as boring as it might sound, real comedic skills lies on perfect timing, wit partnered with acting skills. 

it has been a while since somebody on TV made me laugh that way.  

  

godspeed mang dolphy.  heaven awaits laughter coming their way.

i love

by the reluctant blogger

me:  i'm having a headache

my husband:  take meds

[you see, he's quite logical - all the time]

me:  i mean, i'm having a headache, please give me a massage

my husband:  o, i see, come here then...

[then, he turns it all around by being the sweetest person in the world]

a few days ago, he turned 40.  

for 17 summers now, he has been my sunshine, my torch.  

we've had trembling days but his strength of character kept us unshaken.  

i love, my love.  

the red-haired doll

yesterday, we have sent off daughter to her first field trip.  this wasn't really her first time, but it was her first time to go without us as her chaperone.

my daughter though she's already seven is still a baby.  she still has to figure out how to zip her skirt, tie her shoe lace and a lot of other stuff.  admittedly we're a bit behind in setting her leash loose.  so i have been anxious for days now knowing that she will be out the whole day on her own.  she will need to clean up after herself, find her way through her bag of food, towels, wipes, shirt, juice and must manage to find everything she needs without any help.  i was most worried about her wee-wee breaks.  public toilets scare me and i was scared for her.  so last night i talked her through our public toilet routine.  wipe the seat clean... lay over sheets of toilet paper on the seat... etc. i must have said the word yucky so many times that moment just to prove my point.  then there's the issue about pocket money.  my child doesn't handle money.  it would have been easy if we don't give her money at all.  but we gave her money anyway just in case she finds something she likes.  it would be heartbreaking to find out she was the only child in class not holding a lollipop which everybody bought in the kiosk.

as i picked her up from school after her trip, i was expecting to see her hair messed up, shoes and shirt dirty.  i was ready to hear sob stories from my little girl on how she found it hard to eat in the bus without a table, or how she tried so hard looking for her spoon and fork in her bag but couldn't find it, how she got lost in the museum and somehow found her way back.  i was ready to give her my hugs for that.

but when i saw her in her classroom waiting, she was still beaming.  hair was slightly messy but she's ok.  i asked her how her day was.  she said she lost her wallet.  oh dear, here we go... i noticed she was holding a teddy bear.  she said she bought it from the doll factory.  she also told me that one of her classmates had given her money so she can buy it. i quickly told her she must not borrow money again and that we would return the money her classmate gave her. then she told me she has a surprise for me.  from her small bag, she excitedly brought out a small doll with red hair.  she said she bought it for me because she knew that i would love it.  and i do!  how can i not love it?  i fought back a tear or two thanking her and told her it was very thoughtful.

can a baby do that? can a baby think of getting her mommy a present?  certainly not.  alas, certainly, our little 7 year old is no longer a baby.  she may still have her childish ways most days but she does things that surprise me. just like this red haired doll from the factory.  that doll could still be sitting quietly in that factory shop had my little girl not thought of buying it for me.  my little big girl gave her a home. a home where a baby is starting to outgrow her baby ways and whose mom and a dad just realized that.

1:25:20

pitter. patter. pitter. patter. pant. pant. splish. splash. pitter. patter.

past the 2km mark, it seemed i have already covered 4km.  that wasn't a good sign.  inside my mind, i was asking what form and what mindset would i be in by the time i reach 5km?  then thoughts kept playing... if i go on this way, how could i go past 6km... it's still far from the finish... oh dear... could i make it to 10km? maybe i won't.  i was panicking so early in the race and it worried me but the rain showering us that night did me well.  it somehow helped me calm me.

pitter. patter. pitter. patter. pant. pant. splish. splash. pitter. patter

puddles and potholes were added obstacles to conquer.  in the darker areas of the route, floodlights were set up to help the runners navigate. i am sensitive to the glare and this proved to be another challenge for me. i was squinting, head bowed down to avoid the glare, careful not to bump into a runner in front of me and careful not to trip on one of the many potholes on my way.  i was running almost breathless and my muscles were tired and i couldn't be in a more uncomfortable situation at that point. but i came there with a purpose.  i have to finish the race. and by all means, i don't want to finish last.  so i moved on and pushed through. immediately my mind took over!  must run. must run!

pitter. patter. pant. pant. pant. splish. splash. pant. pant.

i have pushed through the pain. run. push. there still was breathlessness. push. run. i also pushed through numbing soles.  i kept thinking everyone running that night is feeling pain just like me.  i am pretty sure that the best runners do feel pain too.  the difference lies in how well each of us push through.

and just like that,

pant. pant. pant. pant. pant. pant. whoa!

1:25:20

under a starless rainy night, this was how long it took me to finish my very first 10km run.  

i've finally done it!  that's a checkmark for one of the items in my wish list this year.

it was still drizzling when we finished.  and i thank the rain for cooling my nerves.  i also have my running buddy hubby to thank. as always, he helped me go on.  he did not run his pace that night to be with me in my maiden 10.  and i am so glad he was there otherwise, i would have quit at the halfway mark.

and by the way, hubby and i did not finish last :)

pat. pat. pat... on the back

cheers, everyone!

sun shines

the sun is shining on this side of the web.  

my favorite designer of Fancy Girl Designs is giving me a free blog makeover!  

thanks for being my sunshine today, Pat.

meanwhile, this reluctant blogger is saying